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“As Jung notes: Individuation cuts one off from personal conformity and hence from collectivity. That is the guilt which the individual leaves behind him for the world, that is the guilt he must endeavor to redeem. He must offer a ransom in place of himself that is, he must bring forth values which are an equivalent substitute for his absence in the collective personal sphere.6 In calling individuation a myth, we mean that such an image, charged with affect, rich with possibility, and related to transcendent purpose, is a psychologically grounding force field for the conduct of a conscious life. Most culturally charged alternatives of our time have noticeably failed because in the end they are not effective, do not satisfy the soul; only the myth of individuation deepens and ennobles our journey. Rather than ask, what does my tribe demand of me, what will win me collective approval, what will please my parents, we ask, what do the gods intend through me? It is a quite different question, and the answers will vary with the stage of life, and from one person to another. The necessary choices will never prove easy, but asking this question, and suffering it honestly, leads through the vicissitudes of life to larger places of meaning and purpose. One finds so much richness of experience, so much growth of consciousness, so much enlargement of one’s vision that the work proves well worth it. The false gods of our culture, power, materialism, hedonism, and narcissism, those upon which we have projected our longing for transcendence, only narrow and diminish. Of each critical juncture of choice, one may usefully ask: “Does this path enlarge or diminish me?” Usually, we know the answer to that question. We know it intuitively, instinctively, in the gut. Choosing the path that enlarges is always going to mean choosing the path of individuation. The gods want us to grow up, to step up to that high calling that each soul carries as its destiny. Choosing the path that enlarges rather than diminishes will serve us well in navigating through our idol-ridden, clamorous, but sterile time and move us further toward meeting the person we are meant to be.”
― James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up

“Schopenhauer’s philosophical pessimism struck his mother, Johanna, as wholly out of sync with life, or at least with hers. He was as difficult personally as he was philosophically, prone to long spells of depression and sudden fits of rage. He paid damages for twenty years to a woman he’d physically assaulted (she was talking too loudly outside his door). When Schopenhauer was twenty-six, Johanna wrote to her son, informing him of the obvious—he was impossible. She described the negative effects he had on his companions, suggesting that he move far away from her. He did. They never saw each other again. She died twenty-four years later. After being estranged from his second parent, Schopenhauer spent the remaining forty-six years of his life alone, cultivating a reputation as the Continent’s bachelor-turned-hermit. This is not to suggest”
― John Kaag, Hiking with Nietzsche: On Becoming Who You Are

“If there was any meaning to life, it had to be found in suffering. In 1850 Schopenhauer wrote: “Unless suffering is the direct and immediate object of life, our existence must entirely fail of its aim. It is absurd to look upon the enormous amount of pain that abounds everywhere in the world, and originates in needs and necessities inseparable from life itself, as serving no purpose at all and the result of mere chance.” Either suffering is the meaning of life, or there is no meaning of life.”
― John Kaag, Hiking with Nietzsche: On Becoming Who You Are

“So what has brought you to this point in your life? Have you chosen this life you lead, these consequences? What forces shaped you, perhaps diverted you, wounded and distorted you; what forces perhaps supported you, and are still at work within you, whether you acknowledge them or not? The one question none of us can answer is: of what are we unconscious? But that which is unconscious has great power in our lives, may currently be making choices for us, and most certainly has been implicitly constructing the patterns of our personal history. No one awakens in the morning, looks in the mirror, and says, “I think I will repeat my mistakes today,” or “I expect that today I will do something really stupid, repetitive, regressive, and against my best interests.” But, frequently, this replication of history is precisely what we do, because we are unaware of the silent presence of those programmed energies, the core ideas we have acquired, internalized, and surrendered to. As Shakespeare observed in Twelfth Night, no prisons are more confining than those we know not we are in.”
― James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up