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With a partner you had the story of how you met, choosing each other out of everyone in the world, and the years together were chaptered with joint decisions—no one could ever say it was all a dream; both parties were accountable. Not soWith a partner you had the story of how you met, choosing each other out of everyone in the world, and the years together were chaptered with joint decisions—no one could ever say it was all a dream; both parties were accountable. Not so with a child. For the child it was a dream. And the unpunctuated days into years moved much more quickly (for the parent), so all one could do was free-fall through the chaos, madly making sandwiches and washing hair and hope that there would be some ritual, some time for reflection, at the end. Perhaps at their high school graduation the child would turn and say, “Phewf. I’m awake now, so I can speak about it—that was a trip, wasn’t it?! What an insane number of sandwiches you suddenly had to make, having rarely ever made one before! And look at my body! Let me actually take off all my clothes and show it to you so you can get a good look before I go off into my life and never show it to you again.”...more