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Kai Van
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Hypnagogia
by
So this was the start of it. And already I was anxious for the end. I flinched again. How was that possible? Flinching at my own thoughts in my own head. I didn’t want them to go, I just… didn’t want to engage with this situation myself. I
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As someone with social anxiety and a constant flow of negative self talk running through my head often? This is too relatable.
“I'm not asking him to stay, Ronan thought. Only to come back.”
― The Raven King
― The Raven King
“Adam smiled cheerily. Ronan would start wars and burn cities for that true smile, elastic and amiable.”
― The Raven King
― The Raven King
“Sometimes it’s hard to feel real. It’s hard to even feel trans because people don’t believe us, but I know who I am.”
― Dear Mothman: A Novel in Verse
― Dear Mothman: A Novel in Verse
“What people never understand is that depression isn't about the outside; it's about the inside. Something inside me is wrong. Sure, there are things in my life that make me feel alone, but nothing makes me feel more isolated and terrified than my own voice in my head.”
― My Heart and Other Black Holes
― My Heart and Other Black Holes
“It gives me strength to have somebody to fight for; I can never fight for myself, but, for others, I can kill.”
― The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls
― The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls
Kai’s 2025 Year in Books
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