Carlos

“Actually, [Wax] said, we came here because we needed someplace safe to think for a few hours."
Ranette: "Your mansion isn't safe?"
Wax: "My butler failed to poison me, then tried to shoot me, then set off an explosive in my study"
Ranette: "Huh.... You need to screen these people better, Wax.”
― Brandon Sanderson, The Alloy of Law

“If you can't annoy somebody, there is little point in writing.”
― Kingsley Amis, Lucky Jim

“God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.”
― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies