Heather

“If you’re going to die, die interesting! Is there anything worse than a boring death? (Other than a Charlie Rose marathon on PBS?) I think not. When my time comes I’m going to go out in high style. I have no intention of being sick or lingering or dragging on and on and boring everyone I know.”
― Joan Rivers, I Hate Everyone...Starting with Me

“Here’s one way to tell if you’re driving how I want you to—nay, how America needs you to. Whenever I drive my dad around, I see him mashing his feet into the floor mat. The old man is using imaginary brakes because I’m driving so hard. When your passenger is trying to stop the vehicle with his feet like Fred Flintstone, this is the ultimate tip of the cap.”
― Adam Carolla, President Me: The America That's in My Head

“During moments of uterine compromise, my presence on campus would put faculty and students at risk. Think Columbine, but in a Burberry trench.”
― Babe Walker, White Girl Problems

“I hate everyone who wants a free ride.”
― Matthew DiBenedetti, I Hate Everyone