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Black Swan Green
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Bill Watterson
“Calvin: Why are you crying mom?
Mom: I'm cutting up an onion.
Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.”
Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

H.L. Mencken
“An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it makes a better soup.”
H.L. Mencken, A Book of Burlesques

Nalini Singh
“Sentinel meeting tonight,” Ria told her. “At Lucas's place.”
“Time?”
...
“Seven. Sascha's doing dinner.”
“God save us all.” Sascha had decided she liked cooking. Unfortunately, cooking didn't like her back.”
Nalini Singh, Branded by Fire

W.C. Fields
“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”
W.C. Fields

Rita Rudner
“I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen”
Rita Rudner

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Mathew ...
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