Robert

“Calvin: Why are you crying mom?
Mom: I'm cutting up an onion.
Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”
― W.C. Fields

“I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen”
― Rita Rudner

“Sentinel meeting tonight,” Ria told her. “At Lucas's place.”
“Time?”
...
“Seven. Sascha's doing dinner.”
“God save us all.” Sascha had decided she liked cooking. Unfortunately, cooking didn't like her back.”
― Nalini Singh, Branded by Fire