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“Jack: "For Christ's sake, it wasn't like I was on vacation. I've been in Iowa, in cornfield hell!

Keely: Did you just say you got cornholed in Iowa?”
― Lorelei James, All Jacked Up

“She’s having a party, you
know. This coming week.”
He took a sip of wine. “I know. I received an invitation this morning before you arrived.
According to her flowing prose, I am to be the guest of honor.” He shuddered.
Miranda couldn’t help but laugh. “Yes, my mother is quite taken with you now that you’re assisting us financially. I’m sure she’ll fawn over you all evening.”
He downed the remainder of his wine in one swig. “Dear God, now I wish I hadn’t accepted the invitation.”
She giggled at his twisted, pained expression. “Oh, of course you must come. Drink the wine, appreciate the orchestra. After all, you’re paying for it.”
Ethan’s expression went from a playfully pained one to a truly pained one for a brief instant. His frown drew down and he looked at her evenly.
“No, Miranda. I believe it is you who are paying,” he said softly.”
― Jess Michaels, Everything Forbidden