Leah

“It is not death that the very old tell me they fear. It is what happens short of death—losing their hearing, their memory, their best friends, their way of life. As Felix put it to me, “Old age is a continuous series of losses.”
― Atul Gawande, Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End

“I’m in dread of what would happen if she becomes too hard for me to care for,” he said. “I try not to think too far ahead. I don’t think about next year. It’s too depressing. I just think about next week.”
It’s the route people the world over take, and that is understandable. But it tends to backfire. Eventually, the crisis they dreaded arrived”
― Atul Gawande, Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End

“In the horrible places, the battle for control escalates until you get tied down or locked into your Geri-chair or chemically subdued with psychotropic medications. In the nice ones, a staff member cracks a joke, wags an affectionate finger, and takes your brownie stash away. In almost none does anyone sit down with you and try to figure out what living a life really means to you under the circumstances, let alone help you make a home where that life becomes possible”
― Atul Gawande, Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End

“We want autonomy for ourselves and safety for those we love.” That remains the main problem and paradox for the frail. “Many of the things that we want for those we care about are things that we would adamantly oppose for ourselves because they would infringe upon our sense of self.”

“It’s the rare child who is able to think, ‘Is this place what Mom would want or like or need?’ It’s more like they’re seeing it through their own lens.” The child asks, “Is this a place I would be comfortable leaving Mom?”
― Atul Gawande, Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End