Pamela Hogan

“I struggled with anxiety and loneliness, even in a crowded room. I never felt like I was enough. I ate Tums like candy. And I know this sounds all beauty-contestant-answerish, but I just wanted inner peace, a place to come in out of the rain. I needed, well, God, really, but you couldn’t have told me that then, not until the crap hit the fan. You know, those no-one-can- save-you-but-God things? An actual life or death experience. I’m not kidding, I didn’t think I was going to live, but instinctively I cried out and BAM! There God was, not judgmental and mean, but the ultimate friend. He came through in a big way! I’ll be honest with you, I flippin’ drank the Kool-Aid. ”
― Elizabeth Bristol, Mary Me: One Woman’s Incredible Adventure with God

“ . . . since God’s God, I assumed He could hear me, so I’d ask Him what He thought. And here’s the weird part, I’d pick up a book, a box of cereal, or catch a random conversation at the gym and hear what felt like His next line in our conversation! It was wild. ”
― Elizabeth Bristol, Mary Me: One Woman’s Incredible Adventure with God

“As the native drum kept rhythm with the nighttime symphony of the African bush, the cry of a hyrax (a small, furry animal that sounded a lot scarier than it looked) pierced the night. A hyena howled. A warthog ran through our camp. What was he running from? Sitting in front of my tent, I tried to figure everything out. I wouldn’t have called what I did prayer but maybe wonder. 
 
Night after night, I’d listened to the rush of a river or watched my own personal light show as lightning spider-webbed across the heavens, danced in the distance, and serenaded me with a muffled growl. Until a crash—so loud it seemed to break the sky—caused me to twitch as a shiver ran up my spine. 
 
“You know how it is when you feel someone staring at you from across the room?” I said to Truth. “You turn to meet the gaze. It was like that, but I saw no one. I just felt a comforting presence as we sat together in silence.” 
 
“You think it was God?” she asked. 
 
“Yeah, but I called him Fred. Not so overwhelming, more personal.” ”
― Elizabeth Bristol, Mary Me: One Woman’s Incredible Adventure with God

“I didn’t set out to look for God, but He didn’t trick me either. He’s not like that. So much about God is not like I thought. He’s way cooler than anyone said. And I did need Him, just not in the way others tried to package Him. This One, who’s capable of bringing us out the other side of whatever we’ve been through, is gentle, never hurried, and always present, even when He’s silent. ”
― Elizabeth Bristol, Mary Me: One Woman’s Incredible Adventure with God