Vikki Apel

“I am not young enough to know everything.”
― Oscar Wilde

“My fore-parts, as you so ineloquently put it, have names.”

I pointed to my right breast. “This is Danger.” Then my left. “And this is Will Robinson. I would appreciate it if you addressed them accordingly.”

After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, “You named your breasts?”

I turned my back to him with a shrug. “I named my ovaries, too, but they don’t get out as much.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, "You named your breasts?"

I turned my back to him with a shrug. "I named my ovaries, too, but they don't get out as much.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right