Sally

“People don’t change,” Nina said bitterly. “They just get more punctilious about hiding their true selves.”
― Ruth Ware, In a Dark, Dark Wood

“I don't mind pointing out some of the failings of old age, because we are all headed in that direction, unless of course we take our own lives before we become a burden. I'm not advocating suicide, oh wait, I guess I am.”
― Amy Sedaris, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence

“Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking.”
― Amy Sedaris, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence

“My bottom is itchy so I stop in the middle of the landing and scratch it lightly. The fiddling merely tantalises the itch, and it becomes more aggressive. I respond in kind, dragging my fingernails across my fundament in a frenzied jerking motion. With one hand braced against the wall, I’m now grabbing and clawing at the angry aperture, slashing and scraping in a bid to ease the sensation. It’s a delicious relief but I know it’s merely stoking the irritation. And so after a final flurry – scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit – I stop scratching. My backside pleads with me to continue but I resist, and in a few seconds the itch subsides on its own, as I knew it would.10 I”
― Alan Partridge, Alan Partridge: Nomad