Umut

“Tell me more about the crusades. Well, My son, this region where we now find ourselves, including Jerusalem, and other territories to the north and west, will be conquered by the followers of the god I mentioned, who has been slow in coming, the followers on our side will do everything possible to expel them from the places you have traveled and I constantly frequent.”
― José Saramago, The Gospel According to Jesus Christ

“Dirk nearly exploded with pain and howled so loudly that he almost attracted the attention of a waiter.”
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

“Er, well, um - there's one which is that a patient wakes up after having, well, that is, he's been to, er, to surgery, and he wakes up and, it's not very good, but anyway, he's been to surgery and he says to the doctor when he wakes up, 'Doctor, doctor, what's wrong with me, I can't feel my legs.' And the doctor says, `Yes, I'm afraid we've had to amputate both your arms.' And that's it really. Er, that's why he couldn't feel his legs, you see.”
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

“It seems to me that the whole field of humour could benefit from close and immediate scrutiny. Clearly we need to sort out the jokes which have any kind of genuine psychological value from those which merely encourage drug abuse and should be stopped.”
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul