Laura Compton

“Three couples approached the Pearly Gates and asked permission from Saint Peter to enter. To the first husband he responded, “You may not enter heaven. All your life you’ve been obsessed with money. Why, you even married a woman named Penny!” He then turned to the second husband and responded, “You may not enter heaven. All your life you’ve been obsessed with food. Why, you even married a woman named Candy.” Taking his wife gently by the hand and looking very sad, the third husband said, “Come on, Fanny, we might as well get out of here!”
― Kevin Kenworthy, The Best Jokes Minnie Pearl Ever Told:

“The times when you feel like laughing the least are usually the times you need to laugh the most.”
― Chonda Pierce, Roadkill on the Highway to Heaven: Has Life Left You Flatter than a Steam-Rolled Possum?

“Lord, make me a blessing to someone today.”
― Jan Karon, At Home in Mitford