Melissa

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https://melissafirman.substack.com

Book cover for The Holiday Trap
Better question: what did you do when all the recent moments of love, desire, and partnership in your life were revealed to be betrayals?
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Natasha Trethewey
“Writing is a way of creating order out of chaos, of taking charge of one's own story, being the sovereign of the self by pushing back against received knowledge and guarding the sanctity of the dwelling place of the imagination, that place of first permission.”
Natasha Trethewey, The House of Being

Michelle Obama
“Going high is something you do rather than merely feel. It’s not some call to be complacent and wait around for change, or to sit on the sidelines as others struggle. It is not about accepting the conditions of oppression or letting cruelty and power go unchallenged. The notion of going high shouldn’t raise any questions about whether we are obligated to fight for more fairness, decency, and justice in this world; rather, it’s about how we fight, how we go about trying to solve the problems we encounter, and how we sustain ourselves long enough to be effective rather than burn out.”
Michelle Obama, The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times

Michelle Obama
“For me, going high usually involves taking a pause before I react. It is a form of self-control, a line laid between our best and worst impulses. Going high is about resisting the temptation to participate in shallow fury and corrosive contempt and instead figuring out how to respond with a clear voice to whatever is shallow and corrosive around you. It’s what happens when you take a reaction and mature it into a response.
Because here’s the thing: Emotions are not plans. They don’t solve problems or right any wrongs. You can feel them—you will feel them, inevitably—but be careful about letting them guide you. Rage can be a dirty windshield. Hurt is like a broken steering wheel. Disappointment will only ride, sulking and unhelpful, in the back seat. If you don’t do something constructive with them, they’ll take you straight into a ditch.”
Michelle Obama, The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times

Michelle Obama
“What’s sturdy and effective for you may not be what’s sturdy and effective in the hands of your boss, or your mother, or your life partner. A spatula won’t help you change a flat tire; a tire iron won’t help you fry an egg. (Though by all means, feel free to prove me wrong.) Tools evolve over time, based on our circumstances and growth. What works in one phase of life may not work in another.”
Michelle Obama, The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times

Michelle Obama
“Our differences are treasures and they’re also tools. They are useful, valid, worthy, and important to share. Recognizing this, not only in ourselves but in the people around us, we begin to rewrite more and more stories of not-mattering. We start to change the paradigms around who belongs, creating more space for more people. Step by step by step, we can lessen the loneliness of not-belonging.”
Michelle Obama, The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times

164334 Read Women — 5610 members — last activity 8 hours, 11 min ago
A group for readers of all genders who wish to broaden their reading horizons by reading more books by women authors. And more women authors that perh ...more
152458 Ultimate Popsugar Reading Challenge — 42786 members — last activity 23 minutes ago
This group is for people participating in the Popsugar reading challenge for 2025 or 2026 (or any other year). The Popsugar website posted a reading c ...more
1214410 Big Book Summer Reading Challenge 2023 — 50 members — last activity May 24, 2024 10:11AM
My annual Reading Challenge to tackle those Big Books (400 pages or more) during the lazy days of summer! Join the fun and sign up here (in the Sign-U ...more
1243066 Big Book Summer Reading Challenge 2024 — 234 members — last activity Aug 05, 2025 08:58AM
My annual Reading Challenge to tackle those Big Books (400 pages or more) during the lazy days of summer! Join the fun and sign up here (in the Sign-U ...more
1256310 Mount TBR Challenge 2025 — 118 members — last activity 2 hours, 34 min ago
This group is for those who would like to participate in the 2025 edition of the Mount TBR Reading Challenge which I also host on my blog My Reader's ...more
More of Melissa’s groups…
year in books
JoAnn
1,393 books | 252 friends

Jess
2,381 books | 88 friends

Lisa
1,079 books | 416 friends

Alyce
2,592 books | 1,616 friends

Michelle W
962 books | 55 friends

Jennife...
1,659 books | 219 friends

Jenny C...
1,852 books | 348 friends

Samantha
1,257 books | 165 friends

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