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“Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?”
Tara Gilesbie, My Immortal

James  Patterson
“The cell phone in my pocket went off. Shit! Damn it! Why do I carry these infernal gadgets? Why does anybody in their right mind need to constantly be on call?”
James Patterson, Violets Are Blue

Karl Pilkington
“I sometimes wear headphones even though I’m not listening to anything just so I’m left alone. It’s the next best thing to wearing a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign.”
Karl Pilkington, The Moaning of Life: The Worldly Wisdom of Karl Pilkington

Karl Pilkington
“I’ve always found cherubs a bit sinister. The idea of winged babies flying around with no nappies on seems like an accident waiting to happen. There would be shit everywhere. If I saw a cherub flying about in real life it would terrify me, whereas a Cyclops, which is another mythical being, wouldn’t scare me at all, as it’s just a bloke with one eye. He’d be registered disabled and get a decent parking space in today’s world.”
Karl Pilkington, The Moaning of Life: The Worldly Wisdom of Karl Pilkington

Gena Showalter
“you're smart, pretty, and you aren't a douche purse.”
Gena Showalter

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