David Cale

“I nearly committed a terrible sin," said Brutha. "I nearly ate fruit on a fruitless day."
"That's a terrible thing, a terrible thing," said Om. "Now cut the melon.”
― Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

“The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy but they were listening in gibberish.”
― Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

“The trouble with being a god is that you've got no one to pray to.”
― Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

“That's why it's always worth having a few philosophers around the place. One minute it's all is truth beauty and is beauty truth, and does a falling tree in the forest make a sound if there's no one there to hear it, and then just when you think they're going to start dribbling one of 'em says, incidentally, putting a thirty-foot parabolic reflector on a high place to shoot the rays of the sun at an enemy's ships would be a very interesting demonstration of optical principles.”
― Terry Pratchett, Small Gods