Kelli Herrin

“The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“He was no woman’s idea of a romantic hero.  He was Mr. Darcy only if Mr. Darcy got loaded at the ball at Netherfield, started a fight with Bingley because the man was a fucking pussy, kicked Mr. Collins in the balls just to get him to shut the hell up, and then hit on Lizzy’s sexy little ass like a motherfucker.”
― Elizabeth Gannon, The Guy Your Friends Warned You About

“As I am new to teaching this course, University policy is that we are to use this time to get to know each other better.  I realize that this is an incredible waste of all of our times and tuition money, is utterly tedious, and accomplishes nothing, but that is the rule.”  She started handing out more paperwork.  “Break into small groups and try to answer as many of the inane and entirely nonsensical questions as you can, before you stop caring about the assignment and learn to hate the others in your group.  Once you have spent five consecutive minutes discussing how it is impossible for the members of your group to discuss anything for five minutes-- as you obviously have nothing in common and are all equally boring-- the assignment will be complete, and you can promptly forget all of the names and information you have learned about your classmates, and go home.  Please hand in your papers to me on your way out, so that I can discard them without bothering to read what you wrote, as I do not care.”
― Elizabeth Gannon, Electrical Hazard