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“I told him I hadn't seen Thurston since a week before we left the States. I said he had no idea where I was, and I had no way of finding him either.
"We fell out," I said. "I don't think he was talking to me."
He smiled. "What did you do?"
I felt like crying. That doesn't happen often, to me. "I hurt his feelings." I told him. "I said some things I shouldn't. And then I got dragged here, so I lost him. He's a needle in a haystack."
Ernest nodded. "The world is a very big place when you're looking for someone."
"I miss him," I said. "And I don't know what I'm supposed to do next."
"Get on with the business of living," Ernest told me. "You don't have any other choice.”
―
"We fell out," I said. "I don't think he was talking to me."
He smiled. "What did you do?"
I felt like crying. That doesn't happen often, to me. "I hurt his feelings." I told him. "I said some things I shouldn't. And then I got dragged here, so I lost him. He's a needle in a haystack."
Ernest nodded. "The world is a very big place when you're looking for someone."
"I miss him," I said. "And I don't know what I'm supposed to do next."
"Get on with the business of living," Ernest told me. "You don't have any other choice.”
―
“Then I decided I would spend the summer writing a novel.
That would fix a lot of people. ”
― The Bell Jar
That would fix a lot of people. ”
― The Bell Jar
“Maybe this is how it always is. Maybe someone always wants more. Maybe everyone has a time when they realise that they've been accidentally lying when they say I love you, I miss you, you're pretty, you're the prettiest one, I never want you to leave. Maybe this time ends and it all becomes true again, as true as you ever thought it was. Maybe this time does not end. If this time ends, it would be a smart decision to wait it out. If it does not end, then perhaps you should not wait, and you should find another person to whom you can say these things without lying. But perhaps it always happens, no matter which girl or boy you are trying to love, in which case you might as well stay where you are because you would repeat the same process with anyone else.”
― Vaclav & Lena
― Vaclav & Lena
“And there was something that frightened me much more. If I went to the doctor's tomorrow, and was cured by, say, the weekend, there'd be no relief from anxiety, just different anxiety. Even as the antibiotics hosed down my genitals, the mind's bacteria would be forming new armies. I'd come up with something to get me down...
Was this the case with everyone -- everyone, that is, who wasn't already a thalidomide baked-bean, or a gangrenous imbecile, or degradingly poor, or irretrievably ugly, and would therefore have pretty obvious targets for their worries? If so, the notion of 'having problems' -- or 'having a harder life than most people', or 'having a harder life than you usually had' -- was spurious. You don't have problems, only a capacity for feeling anxious about them, which shifts and jostles but doesn't change.”
― The Rachel Papers
Was this the case with everyone -- everyone, that is, who wasn't already a thalidomide baked-bean, or a gangrenous imbecile, or degradingly poor, or irretrievably ugly, and would therefore have pretty obvious targets for their worries? If so, the notion of 'having problems' -- or 'having a harder life than most people', or 'having a harder life than you usually had' -- was spurious. You don't have problems, only a capacity for feeling anxious about them, which shifts and jostles but doesn't change.”
― The Rachel Papers
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