Kim

“Cats are assholes. I get it. But do you know why people like cats, despite their asshole-ness? It’s because they don’t fucking talk. If they did, and they were all like you, they’d all be extinct because we’d have killed you all by now.”
― Matt Dinniman, Dungeon Crawler Carl

“I wanted you the moment I first set eyes on you. I wanted you in Fjalltindr. I want you now, and tomorrow, and all the tomorrows, Freya.”
― Danielle L. Jensen, A Fate Inked in Blood

“This is a time in baseball when steroids have become a pretty big deal. On our team, you got Barry Bonds, who is hitting home runs like a mortar barrage, and whose head has grown to a size where when they make his promotional bobble-head, they just do the whole thing to scale, while across the bay in Oakland, Mark McGwire now has forearms like Popeye and will only speak in dialects of horse, and they’re keeping José Canseco chained to a post under the ballpark and throwing him raw meat until right before game time, so the league is starting to get sensitive about it.”
― Christopher Moore, Secondhand Souls

“LOST 2 Irish Hellhounds. Very black, like bear. Huge, like bear. Answer to Alvin and Mohammed. Like to eat everything. Like bear! REWARD!”
― Christopher Moore, Secondhand Souls