Ray Bliss

“Alas, the penis is such a ridiculous petitioner. It is so unreliable, though everything depends on it—the world is balanced on it like a ball on a seal's nose. It is so easily teased, insulted, betrayed, abandoned; yet it must pretend to be invulnerable, a weapon which confers magical powers upon its possessor; consequently this muscleless inchworm must try to swagger through temples and pull apart thighs like the hairiest Samson, the mightiest ram.”
― William Gass

“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”
― Mark Twain

“Everybody hates me because I'm so universally liked.”
― Peter De Vries