“I liked it when our feet were aligned,
left with left, and struck the ground at the same
time, leaving footprints on the shore that I
wished to return to and, in secret, place my
foot where his had left its mark.”
― Call Me by Your Name
left with left, and struck the ground at the same
time, leaving footprints on the shore that I
wished to return to and, in secret, place my
foot where his had left its mark.”
― Call Me by Your Name
“Today, the pain, the stoking, the thrill of someone new, the promise of so much bliss hovering a fingertip away, the fumbling around people I might have misread and don't want to lose and must second-guess at every turn, the desperate cunning I bring to everyone I want and crave to be wanted by, the screens I put up as though between me and the world there were not just one but layers of rice-paper sliding doors, the urge to scramble and unscramble what was never really coded in the first place - all these started the summer Oliver came into our house. They are embossed on every song that was a hit that summer, in every novel I read during and after his stay, on anything from the smell of rosemary on hot days to the frantic rattle of the cicadas in the afternoon - smells and sounds I'd grown up with and known every year of my life until then but that had suddenly turned on me and acquired an inflection forever colored by the events of that summer.”
― Call Me by Your Name
― Call Me by Your Name
“Wanting to test desire is nothing more than a ruse to get what we want without admitting that we want it.”
― Call Me by Your Name
― Call Me by Your Name
“Did I want to be like him? Did I want to be him? Or did I just want to have him?”
― Call Me by Your Name
― Call Me by Your Name
“But I had heeded the warning, and as is said of juries who have heard inadmissible evidence before it is stricken from the record, suddenly realized that we were on borrowed time, that time is always borrowed, and that the lending agency exacts its premium precisely when we are least prepared to pay and need to borrow more. […] I squirreled away small things so that in the lean days ahead glimmers from the past might bring back the warmth. I began, reluctantly, to steal from the present to pay off debts I knew I’d incur in the future. This, I knew, was as much a crime as closing the shutters on sunny afternoons. But I also knew that in Mafalda’s superstitious world, anticipating the worst was as sure a way of preventing it from happening.
When we went on a walk one night and he told me that he’d soon be heading back home, I realized how futile my alleged foresight had been. Bombs never fall on the same spot; this one, for all my premonitions, fell exactly in my hideaway.”
― Call Me by Your Name
When we went on a walk one night and he told me that he’d soon be heading back home, I realized how futile my alleged foresight had been. Bombs never fall on the same spot; this one, for all my premonitions, fell exactly in my hideaway.”
― Call Me by Your Name
Jen’s 2025 Year in Books
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