Diana Evans

“Babies are the worst roommates. They’re unemployed. They don’t pay rent. They keep insane hours. Their hygiene is horrible. If you had a roommate that did any of the things babies do, you’d ask them to move out.”
― Jim Gaffigan, Dad Is Fat

“Shy, delicate, gentle Jane, though the eldest, could no more initiate conversation with a newly met man than a rose petal could belch.”
― Steve Hockensmith, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls

“I say you’re in hell when you don’t give to someone who needs, because you can’t bear to have less.”
― Joe Hill, The Fireman