Tanu ghosh

“Insomnia , at times hits you like a cannonball ,
Breaking every wall of your estranged mind and making you loose your “ sanity “ !
You have been trying to befriend the demons , feeding on your fears ,
But,
Some nights, would just last for ever with no end in sight,
Some nights are just cold .
And you remind yourself that you are an “ invisible “ hero; And wait for the daybreak .”
― BinYamin Gulzar

“Life is a solitary confinement ,
Every second is a punishment
- of a crime , that was never committed ,
Or perhaps,
- the biggest crime of my age , is the silence of the soul.

You suffer silently
- as a sacrificial lamb to be slaughtered
- for a cause that is greater than your own existence !
They label you as a hero ,
- a super human with super human strength .

Yes , indeed .
The wars you fight every day
- every moment with your demons , and of course the price of being a hero !
Solitude ,
- A gift from god
- A curse on your own self.”
― BinYamin Gulzar

“Sometimes.
I wish , if only you could listen to things that I cannot say!
I wish , you could feel what is in my heart?

I wish , I could tell you that being silent is my way to calm my screaming mind .
If only you could decipher my deepest silences, only then you would hear the loudest screams I have within me.”
― BinYamin Gulzar

“The pain makes you so numb,
At times, you feel as if you are hallucinating,
Seeing things happen to you as if it were happening to someone else like an " out of body experience".

How could life be so cruel?

Is this what perseverance and enduring pain is all about;I ask myself ?
Somehow I have made myself believe that
" jumping off the cliff " or
" drowning myself "
would do nothing to ease this "pain " ! this " numbness "!
Seeing my loved one suffer after I am "gone" , I guess ,will make me more and more anxious ;
Angry "ghosts " don't make good " providers" , I assume.
So I carry on ..
I carry on every day .
It's a weight I have ...
It makes my heart sink to the bottomless pit ,
But
Then again,
a man like me; a giver & a man with no choice has " literally" no choice" but to " live with this hollowed numb"‎!”
― BinYamin Gulzar