M Palmer

“Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can."
Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?"
Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?"
"Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries."
Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."
...
I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at me. "I do not understand."
"I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said.
"And..." Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam t-shirt.”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse

“You can’t say anything nice about your parents. That’s the first commandment of being Indian. Unless you’re on camera.”
― Rahul Raina, How to Kidnap the Rich

“If you’re fat and Indian, you’re rich; if you’re fat and poor, you’re lying.”
― Rahul Raina, How to Kidnap the Rich