Martha Phebus

“I just want silence…. Jesus, it doesn’t mean I don’t like you. It just means right now, I like silence more.”
― Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

“Listen up, if someone is being nice to you, and you don’t know them, run away. No one is nice to you just to be nice to you, and if they are, well, they can go take their pleasant ass somewhere else.”
― Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

“On Getting in Trouble at School “Why would you throw a ball in someone’s face?…Huh. That’s a pretty good reason. Well, I can’t do much about your teacher being pissed, but me and you are good.”
― Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

“I’m gonna put a handful of condoms in the glove compartment of the car…. I don’t give a shit if you don’t want to talk about this with me, I don’t want to talk about this with you, either. You think I want you screwing in my car? No. But I’d much less rather have to pay for some kid you make because there ain’t condoms in there.”
― Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says