Marc
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Steve Kluger
“You got a boyfriend or something?”
I hate it when he figures me out before I have a chance to do it myself.
Especially when I’ve been counting on at least seven more years of denial.”
Steve Kluger, Almost Like Being in Love

Ilona Andrews
“The phone rang. I picked it up.
“Are you sitting down?” Curran's voice asked.
“Yes.”
“Good.”
Click.
I listened to the disconnect signal. If he wanted me to sit, then I'd stand. I got up. The chair got up with me and I ended up bent over my desk, with the chair stuck to my butt. I grabbed the edge of the chair and tried to pull it off.
It remained stuck.
I would murder him. Slowly. And I'd enjoy every second of it.”
Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

Gail Carriger
“What’s that?” she asked the girl, wrinkling her nose.

“Oh, that? That’s just Pillover.”

“And what’s a pillover, when it’s at home?”

“My little brother.”

“Ah, I commiserate. I have several of my own. Dashed inconvenient, brothers.”
Gail Carriger, Etiquette & Espionage
tags: humor

Gail Carriger
“Floote, what is going on? Do they think I
am contagious? Should I assure them I was
born with a nose this size?”
Gail Carriger, Blameless

Ilona Andrews
“Eat slowly," the blueblood said. "Don't cut your food with the fork. Cut it with the knife, and make the pieces small enough so you can answer a question without having to swallow first."

Why me? "Right. Any other tips?" Her sarcasm whistled right over his head.

"Yes. Look at me and not at your plate. If you have to look at your plate, glance at it occasionally."

Rose put down her fork. "Lord Submarine..."

"Camarine."

"Whatever."

"You can call me Declan." He said it as if granting her a knighthood. The nerve.

"Declan, then. How did you spend your day?"

He frowned.

"It's a simple question: How did you spend your day? What did you do prior to the fight and the pancake making?"

"I rested from my journey," he said with a sudden regal air.

"You took a nap"

"Possibly."

"I spent my day scrubbing, vacuuming and dusting ten offices in the Broken. I got there at seven thirty in the morning and left at six. My back hurts, I can still smell bleach on my fingers, and my feet feel as flat as these pancakes. Tomorrow, I have to go back to work, and I want to eat my food in peace and quiet. I have good table manners. They may not be good enough for you, but they're definitely good enough for the Edge, and they are the height of social graces in this house. So please keep your critique to yourself."

The look on his face was worth having him under her roof. As if he had gotten slapped.

She smiled at him. "Oh and thank you for the pancakes. They are delicious.”
Ilona Andrews, On the Edge
tags: humor

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