mirabilos

“additionally: i have discovered this fanfic called the Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles. Some Christian housewife rewrote the first book to get the "evil witchcraft" out of it and i got a fucking ulcer reading it but i also could not stop it's just... so ridiculous? i kept thinking it was a crack fic but i'm 98% sure at this point it's for real. which is even more ridiculous.”
― sunmoonandstars

“[…] Auch erzählte er ihnen, daß [Lord Zabini] ab und zu einen Muggelleichnam dazu verwende, seinen Tod vorzutäuschen, um seine Frau dann unter einem anderen Namen zu heiraten. Er und sie würden es total lustig finden, daß sie dadurch von allen für eine Schwarze Witwe gehalten werde, da noch niemand […] ihr Spiel durchschaut habe. […]”
― Bill Weasley666

“And lastly, you must always remember to cover your crystal ball with a dark cloth when it’s not in use.”

Hermione uncharacteristically snorted again. “I suppose it’s to keep the spirits from gaining a foothold in the land of the living,” she sarcastically added.

Professor Trelawney slowly turned her shawl clad frame to the Gryffindor and gave her a stern look. “It’s because the ball is crystal and if the light hits it just right, the prisms will filter it and burn your house down…”
― NinjaPandaScholar, The Medium Between Life and Death

“Yeah but they turn people to stone not petrify them.”
― Irish216, The Sinistra Ward and the Chamber of Secrets