Scott

“Boredom is not black licorice, Snicket," she said. "There's no reason to share it with me.”
― Lemony Snicket, When Did You See Her Last?

“I'm a werewolf trapped in a human body."
"Well, yeah, that's kind of the definition."
"No, really. I'm trapped."
"Oh? When was the last time you shape-shifted?"
"That's just it - I've never shape-shifted."
"So you're not really a werewolf."
"Not yet. But I was meant to be one, I just know it. How do I get a werewolf to attack me?"
Stand in the middle of a forest under a full moon with a raw steak tied to your face, holding a sign that says, 'Eat me; I'm stupid'?”
― Carrie Vaughn, Kitty and the Midnight Hour

“It's not polite to ask if a man has a big salami in his pants, okay?”
― Kevin Hearne, Shattered

“I don't think..." then you shouldn't talk, said the Hatter.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland