Wayne

“Belief has nothing to do with truth.”
― Percival Everett, James

“It comes back to dysregulation. There’s always a pull to regulate, to seek comfort, to fill that reward bucket. But it turns out that the most powerful form of reward is relational. Positive interactions with people are rewarding and regulating. Without connection to people who care for you, spend time with you, and support you, it is almost impossible to step away from any form of unhealthy reward and regulation. This includes alcohol overuse, drug overuse, eating too much sweet and salty food, porn, cutting, or spending hours and hours on video games. Connectedness counters the pull of addictive behaviors. It is the key.”
― Bruce D. Perry, What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing

“How will he know you loved him," she asks, "unless you try to destroy yourself?”
― Sloane Crosley, Grief Is for People

“In fact, if you get into a relationship with somebody who’s not treating you poorly, you may find yourself feeling increasingly uncomfortable. And then, unconsciously, your mind might seek a “predictable” response. You may try to provoke a bit of response. Maybe I’ll do X and it’ll piss him off. If this elicits the behavior you’re most familiar with—he gets angry and treats you poorly—it can actually be validating. The worldview has been confirmed. Even though the result is chaos and conflict, it’s comforting in the sense that it’s familiar.”
― Bruce D. Perry, What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing