Eli Harrison

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Jon   Stewart
“To have not shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.”
Jon Stewart
tags: humor

Jon   Stewart
“We've come from the same history - 2000 years of persecution - we've just expressed our sufferings differently. Blacks developed the blues. Jews complained, we just never thought of putting it to music.”
Jon Stewart

Tom Waits
“There ain't no devil, only God when he's drunk.”
Tom Waits

Jon   Stewart
“Most world religions denounced war as a barbaric waste of human life. We treasured the teachings of these religions so dearly that we frequently had to wage war in order to impose them on other people.”
Jon Stewart

George Carlin
“Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money!”
George Carlin

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