Michael Stockinger

“Autumn is a fleeting season, melancholy by nature. Its ghostly beauty cultivates a fertile atmosphere for memories that wrote their history on a tablet of fallen leaves - I recall them with the greatest clarity... Whatever else autumn may be, it is the prophet of winter. Winter lasts forever.”
― Brian P. Easton, Autobiography of a Werewolf Hunter

“The classic definition of slapstick runs along the line of, "Funny is someone else ramming his face repeatedly into a brick wall.”
― Katherine Dunn, The Pilo Family Circus

“That was pretty easy, and I wrote it while delousing my pet tapir.”
― Greg Gutfeld, The Joy of Hate: How to Triumph over Whiners in the Age of Phony Outrage

“I'd often slip and fall on the ice after last call, which explained the ever-present welts. If I were with a woman, I'd usually execute a precautionary vomit in the men's room in an effort avoid any ugly incidents once I got her back to her place. And they say chivalry is dead.”
― Dan Dunn, Nobody Likes a Quitter (and other reasons to avoid rehab): The Loaded Life of an Outlaw Booze Writer