Arianna

“I'll go," he said.
"And that's safer because?"
"I'm a guy."
"Right, and having a pair of dingle balls makes you invincible how?”
― Gemma Halliday, Deadly Cool

“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
― Dave Barry, Dave Barry Turns Fifty

“A good friend keeps your secrets for you. A best friend helps you keep your own secrets.”
― Lauren Oliver , Before I Fall

“After dinner, Edwart took me upstairs to see his room. At the top of the stairs was a giant wooden cross.

"Ironic, huh?" Edwart said.

"Why?" I asked with trepidation, imagining that, at any second, Edwart would turn into dust, which I would then sweep up and disperse over my furniture so he would always be with me.

"Because we're Jewish, of course--nonpracticing.”
― The Harvard Lampoon, Nightlight