Arianna

“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
― Dave Barry, Dave Barry Turns Fifty

“There must have been a real mess on the tracks,’ Lorna said, ‘They shut down the F train line for a whole two hours for you. Two hours! And in rush hour!’
My final achievement. Man, I hoped Mom was getting that put on my gravestone. Here lies Charlotte Feldman. She pissed off commuters. A lot.”
― Suzy Cox, The Dead Girls Detective Agency

“Hey, bro, do you think you can put Shorty back on her chain?"

I stepped forward with my hands on my hips, only slightly intimidated to find Kaleb almost eye level with me when he was seated and I was standing.

"First of all, no one is the boss of me but me. Secondly, if you ever reference my 'chain' again, I will kick your ass." I jabbed him hard in the chest with my finger. Possibly breaking it. "And thirdly, don't call me Shorty."

Kaleb sat silently for a second, his eyes wide as he looked at Michael. "Where did you get her? Can you get me one?"

I blew out a loud, frustrated sigh and dropped down beside Michael, who didn't even try to hide his smile. "You should probably apologize to Emerson."

"I am sorry." Kaleb grinned at me. "Sorry I didn't meet you first.”
― Myra McEntire, Hourglass

“I'll go," he said.
"And that's safer because?"
"I'm a guy."
"Right, and having a pair of dingle balls makes you invincible how?”
― Gemma Halliday, Deadly Cool