323 books
—
1,768 voters
“Saying someone would make a great politician is like saying someone would make a great serial killer. It’s not a compliment.”
― Beard Science
― Beard Science
“I don’t like to judge people.
I love it.
Writing people completely off was liberating”
― Beard Science
I love it.
Writing people completely off was liberating”
― Beard Science
“He was so handsome I felt like filing a civil lawsuit against his parents, claiming punitive damages, pain and suffering to my psyche.”
― Attraction
― Attraction
“I changed my mind.”
“You changed—”
“My. Mind.” I stopped short and faced him, placing my hands on my hips. “It’s like underpants, Jethro.”
“Dirty and dark?” He smirked.
“No.” I scowled at his facial expression. “A mind is like underpants because people change them all the time.”
“But you don’t.”
“I do change my underpants all the time, Jethro. And, for the record, I think it’s mighty rude of you to assume I don’t.”
He almost rolled his eyes, but caught the urge. “I meant your mind, Cletus. You don’t change your mind.”
― Beard Science
“You changed—”
“My. Mind.” I stopped short and faced him, placing my hands on my hips. “It’s like underpants, Jethro.”
“Dirty and dark?” He smirked.
“No.” I scowled at his facial expression. “A mind is like underpants because people change them all the time.”
“But you don’t.”
“I do change my underpants all the time, Jethro. And, for the record, I think it’s mighty rude of you to assume I don’t.”
He almost rolled his eyes, but caught the urge. “I meant your mind, Cletus. You don’t change your mind.”
― Beard Science
“Reading for me, was like breathing. It was probably akin to masturbation for my brain. Getting off on the fantasy within the pages of a good novel felt necessary to my survival. If I wasn't asleep, knitting, or working, I was reading. This was for several reasons, all of them focused around the infititely superior and enviable lives of fictional heroines to real-life people.
Take romans for instance. Fictional women in romance novels never get their period. They never have morning breath. They orgasm seventeen times a day. And they never seem to have jobs with bosses.
These clean, well-satisfied, perm-minty-breathed women have fulfilling careers as florists, bakery owners, hair stylists or some other kind of adorable small business where they decorate all day. If they do have a boss, he's a cool guy (or gal) who's invested in the woman's love life. Or, he's a super hot billionaire trying to get in her pants.
My boss cares about two things: Am I on time ? Are all my patients alive and well at the end of my shift?
And the mend in the romance novels are too good to be true; but I love it, and I love them. Enter stage right the independently wealthy venture capitalist suffering from the ennui of perfection until a plucky interior decorator enters stage left and shakes up his life and his heart with perky catch phrases and a cute nose that wrinkles when she sneezes.
I suck at decorating. The walls of my apartment are bare. I am allergic to most store-bought flowers. If I owned a bakery, I'd be broke and weigh seven hundred pounds, because I love cake.”
― Beauty and the Mustache
Take romans for instance. Fictional women in romance novels never get their period. They never have morning breath. They orgasm seventeen times a day. And they never seem to have jobs with bosses.
These clean, well-satisfied, perm-minty-breathed women have fulfilling careers as florists, bakery owners, hair stylists or some other kind of adorable small business where they decorate all day. If they do have a boss, he's a cool guy (or gal) who's invested in the woman's love life. Or, he's a super hot billionaire trying to get in her pants.
My boss cares about two things: Am I on time ? Are all my patients alive and well at the end of my shift?
And the mend in the romance novels are too good to be true; but I love it, and I love them. Enter stage right the independently wealthy venture capitalist suffering from the ennui of perfection until a plucky interior decorator enters stage left and shakes up his life and his heart with perky catch phrases and a cute nose that wrinkles when she sneezes.
I suck at decorating. The walls of my apartment are bare. I am allergic to most store-bought flowers. If I owned a bakery, I'd be broke and weigh seven hundred pounds, because I love cake.”
― Beauty and the Mustache
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