Marylee

“and whenever I had menstral cramps, I could just pretend that Voldemort was close.”
― Jenny Lawson

“No," I replied testily. "I'm pretty sure 'digital' is Latin for 'fingeral,' so finger cancer equals digital cancer. This is all basic anatomy, Dr. Roland." The Dr. Roland told me that he thought I was overreacting, and the "fingeral" wasn't even a real word. Then I told him that I though he was underreacting, probably because he's embarrassed that he doesn't know how Latin works. Then he claimed that "underrecating" isn't a word either. The man has a terrible bedside manner.”
― Jenny Lawson, Let's Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir

“If someone asked me to pick out my own vagina’s mug shot out of a lineup of vaginas, I’d be helpless. And probably concerned about what exactly my vagina had been doing that constituted a need for its own mug shot.”
― Jenny Lawson, Let's Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir

“I'm pretty sure 'ferral cats' is code for 'vampire cougars.”
― Jenny Lawson, Let's Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir