Ella

“I hate not knowing what to believe anymore. I hate not knowing what's real.”
― Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why

“Nothing is perfect. Flaws are interesting. Be the tree.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, Speak

“Rumors are spread by jealous people”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, Speak

“Suicide. It's something I've been thinking about. Not too seriously, but I have been thinking about it.”

That's the note. Word for word. And I know it's word for word because I wrote it dozens of times before delivering it. I'd write it, throw it away, write it, crumple it up, throw it away.

But why was I writing it to begin with? I asked myself that question every time I printed the words onto a new sheet of paper. Why was I writing this note? It was a lie. I hadn't been thinking about it. Not really. Not in detail. The thought would come into my head and I'd push it away.

But I pushed it away a lot.”
― Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why