Janet

“I longed for the pitter-patter of little feet, so I got a dog. It’s cheaper, and you get more feet.”
― Garrison Keillor, A Prairie Home Companion Pretty Good Joke Book

“Two things which are the peculiar domain of the heart, not the mind—politics and religion. He doesn’t want to know the other side. He wants arguments and statistics for his own side, and nothing more.”
― Mark Twain, The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain: A Book of Quotations

“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d druther not.”
― Mark Twain, The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain: A Book of Quotations

“When NASA started sending up astronauts, they discovered that ballpoint pens don’t work in zero gravity. So they spent twelve million dollars and more than a decade developing a pen that writes under any condition, on almost every surface. The Russians used a pencil.”
― Garrison Keillor, A Prairie Home Companion Pretty Good Joke Book