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the idealized romantic relationship rests on shaky ground. That instability comes, at least in part, from modern expectations of romantic partnerships. One man I interviewed observed that many people he knows have a “one-stop shopping”
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“Some of us see the lack of policy change and wonder if the movement itself was futile. But policy change is an end point, not an origin. The cradle of material change is in our imagination and ideas. And whereas white supremacy, like any other status quo, can default to the clichéd claims and excuses for the world as it is—bad cops are rotten apples, America is guardian of the free world—we have the burden of crafting new language and stories that allow people to imagine that new policies are possible.”
― The Message
― The Message
“Politics is the art of the possible, but art creates the possible of politics. A policy of welfare reform exists downstream from the myth of the welfare queen. Novels, memoirs, paintings, sculptures, statues, monuments, films, miniseries, advertisements, and journalism all order our reality. Jim Crow segregation—with its signage and cap-doffing rituals—was both policy and a kind of public theater. The arts tell us what is possible and what is not, because, among other things, they tell us who is human and who is not.”
― The Message
― The Message
“Regardless of specifics, the likelihood that the reader will perform that action depends heavily on how well the request is communicated and on how easy it is to fulfill.”
― Writing for Busy Readers: Communicate More Effectively in the Real World
― Writing for Busy Readers: Communicate More Effectively in the Real World
“The mechanisms for introducing variation—the cultural equivalent of mutations—are generators of “error” or of “innovation” in social learning. For example, a new cultural variant could be produced by one person or group making a mistake while learning from another; trying through their own efforts to improve something acquired through social learning (using four rather than three knots to secure a fishing line, deliberately or in error); or combining information from different sources (after observing one person using three knots of type A, and another person using one knot of type B, the learner uses three knots of type B).”
― Cognitive Gadgets: The Cultural Evolution of Thinking
― Cognitive Gadgets: The Cultural Evolution of Thinking
“Friends can explicitly ask for recognition, as Joan did from her community during the museum party, but there’s no guarantee people will grant it. Apart from declaring Amelie her “non-romantic life partner,” Joan specifically requested that any invitation to her also be extended to Amelie, a gesture that touched Amelie. Nevertheless, Joan had to keep reminding people to include Amelie as her plus-one when they sent invitations for backyard barbecues and birthdays. Since same-sex marriage became legal and same-sex spouses have become assumed plus-ones, Joan says “it’s a little worse” that her friendship with Amelie is overlooked. “Now that the state approves of [same-sex marriage]—and I hope it will continue to do so—then it becomes harder for the people who don’t have the government stamp of approval to assert what their relationship is,” Joan says. She had tried to convey the weight of their friendship in her speech, but “that doesn’t mean it lands forever in a way that [it does] if you have a huge party and wedding celebration.” Joan says, after a wedding, “people don’t tend to forget to invite your spouse.”
― The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center
― The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center
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