Cherie Turner

“Jose: Do not drop me senor
Jeff:i wont drop you,jose
Jose:then i be jose jalapeno on the floor
Peanut:do a little tap dance and we got salsa!
Jeff:Thats terrible!
Peanut:not with the right chips its not
Jeff:stop it! im sorry jose
jose:its okay
jeff: okay
Jose:ill kick his ass later
peanut:i'll turn ur ass into guacamole
jeff: stop it!
peanut: i will stir u with ur own stick!
jeff:stop it!
peanut: this is the way we stir the guac stir the guac stir the guac. OLE!!”
― Jeff Dunham

“Peanut: Too much starbucks coffee, coffee, coffee!
Jeff: You didn't have coffee before the show!
Peanut: I admit it was crack.
Jeff: You didn't do crack
Peanut: Then you did! It feels like one of us did!
Peanut: Don't you do crack?
Jeff: No! I'VE NEVER DONE CRACK!
Peanut: Alright. I admit Jeff does not abuse drugs. He's an alcoholic.”
― Jeff Dunham

“Jeff: I understand you guys had a good day today?
Peanut: Yes we had a great day!
Jose: No we did not.
Peanut: Yes
Jose: No
Peanut: Yes
Jose: No
Peanut: Yes
Jose: No we did not have a good day.
Peanut: Yes we hhhaad...a great frickin' day!
What?
Jeff: Did you have a good day?
Peanut: Yes
Jose: No
Peanut: Shut up
Jeff: A good day?
Peanut: Yes
Jose: No
Peanut: Shut up
Jeff: You're supposed to have taken him to the spa.
Peanut: I took him to the spa!
Jose: He put me in the vegetable steamer.
Peanut: It's the same thing!!!”
― Jeff Dunham

“Life, he realize, was much like a song. In the beginning there is mystery, in the end there is confirmation, but it's in the middle where all the emotion resides to make the whole thing worthwhile.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Last Song