Yna Madueno

“They say that grief is like a little stone in your shoe. You don’t always feel it but you know it’s there, ever-present and, from time to time, it bites into your soul to remind you that all isn’t well. I felt that sharp pain sometimes, out of the blue, unbidden. Sitting in the tube and noticing a baby asleep in his mother’s arms, I felt his weight and sensed his plump fingers on hers, the tired mother holding firmly on to her child, shifting her arms so the baby slept comfortably when the train lurched. It reminded me of what had been, how a baby reaches out and grabs the mother’s hair, how a baby’s fingers touch the mother’s face with trust and confidence, knowing that she will never be unkind. The emptiness I felt was tangible, a physical sensation of wanting, of longing, of wishing I could have my baby back.”
― Mona Dash, A Roll of the Dice: a story of loss, love and genetics