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Mark Twain
“Every noun has a gender, and there is no sense or system in the distribution; so the gender of each must be learned separately and by heart. There is no other way. To do this one has to have a memory like a memorandum-book. In German, a young lady has no sex, while a turnip has. Think what overwrought reverence that shows for the turnip, and what callous disrespect for the girl. See how it looks in print -- I translate this from a conversation in one of the best of the German Sunday-school books:

Gretchen: "Wilhelm, where is the turnip?"

Wilhelm: "She has gone to the kitchen."

Gretchen: "Where is the accomplished and beautiful English maiden?"

Wilhelm. "It has gone to the opera.”
Mark Twain, A Tramp Abroad

George Burns
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
George Burns

Woody Allen
“I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”
Woody Allen

Max Planck
“Experiment is the only means of knowledge at our disposal. Everything else is poetry, imagination.”
Max Planck

Oscar Wilde
“I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.”
Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

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