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Feb 18, 2019 04:19AM

 
I Owe You One
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Oct 23, 2019 10:25AM

 
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Lundy Bancroft
“One of the obstacles to recognizing chronic mistreatment in relationships is that most abusive men simply don’t seem like abusers. They have many good qualities, including times of kindness, warmth, and humor, especially in the early period of a relationship. An abuser’s friends may think the world of him. He may have a successful work life and have no problems with drugs or alcohol. He may simply not fit anyone’s image of a cruel or intimidating person. So when a woman feels her relationship spinning out of control, it is unlikely to occur to her that her partner is an abuser.”
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Lundy Bancroft
“Disrespect also can take the form of idealizing you and putting you on a pedestal as a perfect woman or goddess, perhaps treating you like a piece of fine china. The man who worships you in this way is not seeing you; he is seeing his fantasy, and when you fail to live up to that image he may turn nasty. So there may not be much difference between the man who talks down to you and the one who elevates you; both are displaying a failure to respect you as a real human being and bode ill.”
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Yuval Noah Harari
“How do you cause people to believe in an imagined order such as Christianity, democracy or capitalism? First, you never admit that the order is imagined.”
Yuval Noah Harari, Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind

Lundy Bancroft
“Abuse and respect are diametric opposites: You do not respect someone whom you abuse, and you do not abuse someone whom you respect.”
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Lundy Bancroft
“The central attitudes driving Mr. Right are:
You should be in awe of my intelligence and should look up to me intellectually. I know better than you do, even about what’s good for you.
Your opinions aren’t worth listening to carefully or taking seriously.
The fact that you sometimes disagree with me shows how sloppy your thinking is.
If you would just accept that I know what’s right, our relationship would go much better. Your own life would go better, too.
When you disagree with me about something, no matter how respectfully or meekly, that’s mistreatment of me.
If I put you down for long enough, some day you’ll see.”
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

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