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Keating explains that as children we all need an appropriate amount of power and control, affection and esteem, and security and survival for healthy psychological grounding. But as we mature, our tendency is to overidentify with one of
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“Once, an elderly general practitioner consulted me because of his severe depression. He could not overcome the loss of his wife who had died two years before and whom he had loved above all else. Now, how could I help him? What should I tell him? Well, I refrained from telling him anything but instead confronted him with the question, 'What would have happened, Doctor, if you had died first, and your wife would have had to survive you?' 'Oh,' he said, 'for her this would have been terrible; how she would have suffered!' Whereupon I replied, 'You see, Doctor, such a suffering has been spared her, and it was you who have spared her this suffering—to be sure, at the price that now you have to survive and mourn her.' He said no word but shook my hand and calmly left my office. In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.”
―
―
“Trauma isn't caused by death but by life. One can die without knowing it.”
― What Dreams May Come
― What Dreams May Come
“what happens if we begin to anticipate some unwanted future experience, or even obsess about a worst-case scenario, based on a memory from our past? We are still programming the body to experience a future event before it occurs. Now the body is no longer in the moment or in the past; it is living in the future—but a future based on some construct of the past.
When this occurs, the body does not know the difference between the actual event transpiring in reality and what we are entertaining mentally. Because we are priming it to be juiced up for whatever we think might be coming, the body begins to get ready. And in a very real way, the body is in the event.”
― Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One
When this occurs, the body does not know the difference between the actual event transpiring in reality and what we are entertaining mentally. Because we are priming it to be juiced up for whatever we think might be coming, the body begins to get ready. And in a very real way, the body is in the event.”
― Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One
“And until now,
I thought it was
only your humanity in question
but it seems
I lacked empathy for myself
to accept a flatline
and call it
love.”
― Table for One zine
I thought it was
only your humanity in question
but it seems
I lacked empathy for myself
to accept a flatline
and call it
love.”
― Table for One zine
“What happens when that recently triggered mood lingers? You’ve been in a bit of a funk since that day, and now you look around the room during a staff meeting and all you think of is that this person’s tie is hideous, and the nasally tone of your boss is worse than nails on a chalkboard.
At this point, you’re not just in a mood. You’re reflecting a temperament, a tendency toward the habitual expression of an emotion through certain
behaviors. A temperament is an emotional reaction with a refractory period that lasts from weeks to months.
Eventually, if you keep the refractory period of an emotion going for months and years, that tendency turns into a personality trait. At that point others will describe you as “bitter” or “resentful” or “angry” or “judgmental.”
Our personality traits, then, are frequently based in our past emotions. Most of the time, personality (how we think, act, and feel) is anchored in the past. So to change our personalities, we have to change the emotions that we memorize. We have to move out of the past.”
― Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself / Life Leverage / How to be F*cking Awesome / Mindset with Muscle
At this point, you’re not just in a mood. You’re reflecting a temperament, a tendency toward the habitual expression of an emotion through certain
behaviors. A temperament is an emotional reaction with a refractory period that lasts from weeks to months.
Eventually, if you keep the refractory period of an emotion going for months and years, that tendency turns into a personality trait. At that point others will describe you as “bitter” or “resentful” or “angry” or “judgmental.”
Our personality traits, then, are frequently based in our past emotions. Most of the time, personality (how we think, act, and feel) is anchored in the past. So to change our personalities, we have to change the emotions that we memorize. We have to move out of the past.”
― Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself / Life Leverage / How to be F*cking Awesome / Mindset with Muscle
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Jeremiah’s 2025 Year in Books
Take a look at Jeremiah’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
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