Michael

“I’m the frosting on America’s cake, and tonight I’m willing to let you lick the bowl.”
― Stephen Colbert

“Tomorrow you're all going to wake up in a brave new world, a world where the Constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones, created in a stem-cell research lab run by homosexual doctors who sterilize their instruments over burning American flags. Where tax-and-spend Democrats take all your hard-earned money and use it to buy electric cars for National Public Radio, and teach evolution to illegal immigrants. Oh, and everybody's high!”
― Stephen Colbert, I Am America

“Like O'Rielly, we'll grab the most important word of each sentence... 'The' for example. Also, I'll say, 'I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, 'Colbert angry.”
― Stephen Colbert

“If Germans are happy it means everyone else is miserable.”
― Stephen Colbert