“By now, it is probably very late at night, and you have stayed up to read this book when you should have gone to sleep. If this is the case, then I commend you for falling into my trap. It is a writer's greatest pleasure to hear that someone was kept up until the unholy hours of the morning reading one of his books. It goes back to authors being terrible people who delight in the suffering of others. Plus, we get a kickback from the caffeine industry...”
― Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians
― Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians
“Remember, despite the fact that this book is being sold as a 'fantasy' novel, you must take all of the things it says extremely seriously, as they are quite important, are in no way silly, and always make sense.
Rutabaga.”
― Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians
Rutabaga.”
― Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians
“You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.
It's really funny.”
― Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians
It's really funny.”
― Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians
“Authors also create lovable, friendly characters, then proceed to do terrible things to them, like throw them in unsightly librarian-controlled dungeons. This makes readers feel hurt and worried for the characters. The simple truth is that authors like making people squirm. If this weren't the case, all novels would be filled completely with cute bunnies having birthday parties.”
― Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians
― Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians
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