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Perfect Sound Whatever

by James Acaster

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Mar 03, 2020 12:33AM

“WELCOME TO K; but somebody had daubed it with crude, irregular letters, so that it now said WELCOME TO KOSH-MAR.
'What's Kosh-Mar?' Haroun wanted to know.
'It's the work of some miscreant,' shrugged Mr Butt. 'Not every person in the valley is happy, as you may find.'
'It's a word from the ancient tongue of Franj, which is no longer spoken in these parts,' Rashid explained. 'In those long-gone days the valley, which is now called simply K, had other names. One, if I remember correctly, was "Kache-Mer". Another was this "Kosh-Mar". '
'Do those names mean anything?' Haroun asked.
'All names mean something,' Rashid replied. 'Let me think. Yes, that was it. "Kache-Mer" can be translated as "the place that hides a Sea". But "Kosh-Mar" is a ruder name.'
'Come on,' urged Haroun. 'You can't stop there.'
'In the old tongue,' Rashid admitted, 'it was the word for "nightmare".”
― Salman Rushdie, Haroun and the Sea of Stories

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“But too much reading had taken its toll. William found that he now thought of prayer as a sophisticated way of pleading with thunderstorms.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Truth: Stage Adaptation

tags: discworld, pratchett, terry-pratchett, the-truth, william-de-worde

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“There's a certain kind of person who, having read this far, is anxiously wondering: Does something bad happen to the dog?”
― Sigrid Nunez, The Friend

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“(Seth's) voice had a low, throaty, animal quality, a sneering warmth that wound a velvet ribbon of sexuality over the outward coarseness of the man.”
― Stella Gibbons, Cold Comfort Farm

tags: funny

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“I had only just arrived at the club when I bumped into Roger. After we had exchanged a few pleasantries, he lowered his voice and asked, “What do you think of Martha and I as a potential twosome?” “That,” I replied, “would be a mistake. Martha and me is more like it.” “You’re interested in Martha?” “I’m interested in clear communication.” “Fair enough,” he agreed. “May the best man win.” Then he sighed. “Here I thought we had a clear path to becoming a very unique couple.” “You couldn’t be a very unique couple, Roger.” “Oh? And why is that?” “Martha couldn’t be a little pregnant, could she?” “Say what? You think that Martha and me . . .” “Martha and I.” “Oh.” Roger blushed and set down his drink. “Gee, I didn’t know.” “Of course you didn’t,” I assured him. “Most people don’t.” “I feel very badly about this.” “You shouldn’t say that: I feel bad . . .” “Please, don’t,” Roger said. “If anyone’s at fault here, it’s me.”
― Steven Pinker, The Sense of Style: The Thinking Person's Guide to Writing in the 21st Century

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