Knotty Hooker

“And what about the biscuits!” “The what?” Mordecai asked. “Biscuits, Mordecai! I need to make biscuits!”
― Matt Dinniman, A Parade of Horribles

“Hazards: Well, we have the hail and the gatekeeper monster, whatever that might be. But I’d suggest that our biggest hazard is the fact that this bucket has to be driven by a fucking cat this time.”
― Matt Dinniman, A Parade of Horribles

“He wished that he could break out his knitting, but for some reason, people didn’t take you seriously as a warrior when you were knitting. He’d never figured out why. Making socks required four or five double-ended bone needles, and while they weren’t very large, you could probably jam one into someone’s eye if you really wanted to. Not that he would. He’d have to pull the needle out of the sock to do it, and then he’d be left with the grimly fiddly work of rethreading the stitches. Also, washing blood out of wool was possible, but a pain.”
― T. Kingfisher, Paladin's Grace

“I don’t even know what the hell this is. This bitch is coloring outside the lines.”
― Matt Dinniman, A Parade of Horribles