Beth Jones

“I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an occasional fool of itself.”
― David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

“He die one day, and then he go above of my head to live with your father."
He weared the long hair, and after he died, the first day he come back here for to say hello to the peoples."
He nice, the Jesus.”
― David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

“Friendship is a serious affection; the most sublime of all affections, because it is founded on principle, and cemented by time.”
― Mary Wollstonecraft

“Every day we're told that we live in the greatest country on earth. And it's always stated as an undeniable fact: Leos are born between July 23 and August 22, fitted queen-size sheets measure sixty by eighty inches, and America is the greatest country on earth. Having grown up with this in our ears, it's startling to realize that other countries have nationalistic slogans of their own, none of which are 'We're number two!”
― David Sedaris , Me Talk Pretty One Day