Jackson Theofore Keys

“Someone who comes to me cautiously, knowing that falling in love is easy and staying in love is hard, that passion dies and most relationships are doomed before they start.”
― Keith Hartman, The Gumshoe, the Witch, and the Virtual Corpse

“Some assholes just fail upward”
― Eric Ugland, Of Slicing Men

“At first glance, you’d think it was because of the women's suffrage movement, but that wasn’t it. This society was moving into late-stage capitalism. In the past, one man’s wage would feed and clothe an entire family of six, and buy a house, with money left over for holidays and trips to the movies once and a while. As the cost of living went skyrocketing, and wages limped lethargically behind it, men weren’t bringing home enough money for the family to survive anymore. So, the wives went out to work as well. But the reorganization of domestic labor didn’t go with it. Women were told that they could have it all — a career, a family, a fulfilling life. It just meant they were doing it all, while a lot of men were reveling in their weaponized incompetence, just like Terry, here.”
― Lauretta Hignett, Oops I Ate a Vengeance Demon

“I could safely say I would rather be sunburnt at the lake, covered in skeeter bites, trying to kill a water moccasin with a flip-flop, than be in the trunk of a kidnapper’s car.”
― A.J. Sherwood, Jon and Mack's Terrifying Tree Troubles