Manda

“You are such a chick."
I widened my eyes in mock surprise. "No way. Are you sure?"
Sighing again, he rubbed at the tattoos on his wrist. "Mackenzie was right. You aren't slayer material."
Before he had time to register my intentions, I threw a punch. My sore, swollen knuckles slammed into his cheekbone, thrusting his head to the side. Pain shot up my arm, but I bit my tongue to stop a moan.
"You were saying?"
He popped his jaw, rubbed at the reddening skin-and slowly grinned. "Okay, so now I understand why Cole likes you. You're worse than Kat.”
― Gena Showalter, Alice in Zombieland

“To be honest, I don't know what qualities you ever saw in him. I can tell why he chose you, but-"
"Oh yeah?" Cara's spirits lifted as she sensed a compliment coming on. "Why do you think he chose me?"
"It's obvious." He swept a hand to indicate her loose curls. "Your long, shiny hair, healthy skin, and bright eyes show that you're well-nourished."
"Uh, thank you?"
"I'm not finished."
"Go on then."
"You're clearly intelligent." Then he felt the need to add, "For a human."
"Gee. That's so sweet."
"But Eric was probably most attracted to your wait-to-hip ratio." For a split second, Aelyx resembled a human boy as he leaned back and peered at her caboose. "Hips of that width are likely to pass life offspring without complication."
Cara nearly swallowed her own tongue. She didn't have big hips did she?”
― Melissa Landers, Alienated

“We are so not breaking out the violins and pity partying.”
― Gena Showalter, Alice in Zombieland

“Blood spurted from his nose. Okay, I couldn't help myself. I burst out laughing.”
― Gena Showalter, Alice in Zombieland