Ali

“Hi, Tad!' she said. 'Hi, Jeff! Hey, I'm not interrupting anything, am I?'
'Uh, no,' I said. 'We were just...I mean, Tad was...uh, nope.'
'So what were you guys talking about?'
'Well,' I said, 'it's very complicated. We were discussing...umm...hats. You know, hats. Like, the head kind.'
'There's another kind?' Lindsey asked.
'Hey, Jeff?' Tad said. 'If your mom needs any evidence to prove that you're retarded, let me know. I'd be glad to record you talking to Lindsey. I'm pretty sure that would do the trick.”
― Jordan Sonnenblick, After Ever After

“Because we are no different from any animal, any insect or germule. We are not special, Cal. You, me, we all came from nothing, and that's exactly where we're all going one day, maybe soon, whether we like it or not.”
― Roderick Gordon & Brian Williams, Deeper

“Sometimes I wish I had an easy answer for why I'm depressed.”
― Ned Vizzini

“Oh, good lord, Jeff. Don't go getting all emotional on me. I've been getting it from my mom, my dad, my sister, the freaking MAILMAN--I don't need it from you, too. All I ask is that you promise me one thing.'
'What?'
'Just water the plants while I'm gone, all right?'
'You don't have plants, Tad.'
'I know. I just always wanted to say that.”
― Jordan Sonnenblick, After Ever After